That reduction can only take place if you were involved with a toxic person. Toxic people are selfish, empathetically bankrupt and have a limited relationship with reality. Anyone who gets validation by exploiting your hunger for theirs is toxic—to your peace, your life, and your mental health.

Breakups aren’t won by game playing or vilifying your ex. They’re won by realizing that the real “win” is losing a partner who has proven to be a dead end. This mentality destroys toxic people. They don’t know what to do when everything they relied on to feel powerful and significant is no longer there. Starting with your low self-esteem, lack of boundaries, and desperation for a crumb of their attention.

A new life is waiting for you at the end of this journey. A life with relationships that you don’t have to tolerate and eggshell walk your way through. A life where your ex regrets the day they ever decided to breach your trust and break your heart. A life where those who took you for granted wish you could find a way back into theirs. A life where you can choose to walk away from toxicity—instead of trying to be whatever someone may want, may commit to, may be honest with, and may treat with respect.

That life is about to be your own.